This, probably, is not about being a woman, and this better be overcome one step at a time. Have at least one or two genuine friends in your circle with whom you can dare to be vulnerable, weak, lost. Be your strong, independent self before the rest of the world. I have taken years to build these friendships, and these hands have held me during deep and personal emotional crisis which I couldn't show to the rest of the world. You may be let down once or twice while you work on this process, but don't let that experience make you recoil back in your own shell.